“Passenger 31”

 

Eighty-one frail, but excited elderly people stand in line shivering in the cold waiting for the special Double Decker Megabus.  Eighty-one senior citizens come here every three months to break the law. 

While they wait, a happy elfin-type fellow goes up and down the line giving each senior a fresh hot cinnamon roll and a cup of coffee.  The tourists visit with each other while they eat their rolls and find out the latest news about family and friends before boarding the bus which takes them to a certain drugstore in Canada where they can get their prescriptions filled at prices they can afford.

Arriving in Ontario, eighty-one energetic, party-mood 20 and 30 year old people get off the Megabus. Some of the tourists leap two or three steps at a time down to the sidewalk.  They all file into the nearby drugstore, drop off their prescriptions and are told by the pharmacist to return promptly in four hours to pick up their prescriptions, because the Megabus will be waiting to take them back across the border into the United States.

“Let’s hit the casino,” said Ethel after giving her prescription to the pharmacist, “I want to have some fun and if I’m lucky, win a few dollars.”  Jake, after handing his prescription to the pharmacist, chimed in, “yeah I won $257.00 when we were here three months ago.  Let’s go see if I can do it again.”

Ethel, Jake, Alice, and Joe walk into the casino and have to blink their eyes a couple of times to adjust to the bright lights as well as hearing all the bells, whistles, and clanging noises coming from all the machines.  Ethel makes a bee-line to the Liberty Sevens slot machine.  Jake heads to the craps tables and Joe follows.  Alice likes to play the progressives, so she sits down at a machine with a mega-bonus of 375 million, unfolds her twenty dollar bill and slips it in the machine.  She hits the max bid button.  Since it is $5 a pop, she only gets to hit it four times.  First hit, bam, suddenly flashing lights and siren sounds come from the machine.  Casino employees begin to gather around the machine.  Ethel hit the mega-bonus with fifteen-dollars to spare.

Jake, Alice, and Joe ran over to see what all the commotion was about and see Ethel, eyes glazed over, just sitting in her chair unable to speak, but just pointing in the direction of the machine, which was still screaming and jangling at a near deafening level.  A casino employee holding a clipboard accompanied by a security officer stepped through the crowd that had gathered and asked Ethel for some identification.  Ethel opened her purse and pulled out her wallet.  She told the casino employee all she had for identification was her Social Security and Voter Identification cards.  The casino employee, in a most officious tone, said, “I need to see a picture I.D.,” so Ethel pulled out an old expired Michigan Driver’s License with her picture on it and handed it to the employee.

“What are you trying to pull, lady?  This is a picture I. D. of a woman at least forty years older than you,” said the employee.  Ethel took the license from him and said, “well that’s me and these people can testify to it” as she pointed to Jake, Alice, and Joe.  The casino employee said, “You have to prove who you say you are or we can’t say you are the winner of this progressive, do you understand?”  Ethel, feeling weak, begins to fall from the chair, but is caught by Jake. 

“Look mister, she is who she says she is, I will swear to it,” said Jake.  “That won’t do,” said the employee.  “See right here on the machine it says players must have a picture I.D. on them to receive hand payouts, which are jackpots of any size, and she’s not the woman on that driver’s license.”

From nowhere, the elfin-type fellow, now dressed in a casino uniform rolls his cart through the crowd, passing out Cinnamon rolls and coffee.  He scoots next to Ethel saying, “Madam, eat one of my rolls and all will be well.”  Alice took one bite.  Suddenly, she was weary and actually looked like the woman on the driver’s license. 

The casino employee ate a couple of bites of his roll when Ethel handed him her license again and he said, “I’ll need to take this and your social security card to the office.  Do you want a check or cash?”  Ethel asked, “Can it be wired to my bank in the U. S.?”  The casino employee said, “there’s a fee.”  Ethel just smiled, and said, “I don’t think the fee will be a problem.”  She once again got into her purse and pulled out her checkbook, handed the casino employee a blank check indicating the bank and her account number.  Ethel continued, “I had a wonderful time, but I have to leave soon to pick up my prescriptions and to get on the Megabus that is taking us back home.” 

The casino employee advised Ethel it would take about thirty minutes to complete the paperwork and asked, “You want a lesser amount lump sum, or do you want the whole jackpot paid out in payments?”  Ethel agreed to the smaller lump sum, which was still more money than she had ever had in her life.  Soon the employee returned, handed Ethel her identifications cards with confirmation that her winnings had been wired to her bank.

Alice, Joe, Jake, and Ethel were the last to pick up their prescriptions and climb aboard the Megabus.  After arriving back in the United States, and all 81 passengers got off and dispersed in different directions, the Megabus pulled away from the curb and disappeared down the street.  Ethel looked at the moon, said goodnight to her friends, and calmly strolled home anxious to see her beloved cat, “Mr. Lucky.”